zeldathemes
Dice Can Hear You Cry

A lesson learned from encountering many nat. 1’s in our ventures into Pathfinder and Call of Cthulhu. Another lesson learned, never roll for cartwheel, but that’s another story. Proceed with caution; and of course only after praying for mercy from the dice gods.

Talking to An Ancient Bronze Dragon

outofcontextdnd:

Dragon: My name is *rattles off some 14 syllable monstrosity*

Party Fighter: Say Verix, aren’t you of Bronze descent?

Verix (party Sorc): …Granddad?

The nickname for the dragon stuck. 

outofcontextdnd:

"It’s like kudzu, only delicious!"

"I'll sex you so good you'll forget all about your dead sister."

outofcontextdnd:

“Alright, here’s the thing about boats.” –Berserker talking the Ranger out of setting the boat they were raiding on fire.

sorcerous-blood:

sabosexual:

(`ー`)~ takumi

I would totally make a character out of this
not like I just did in my head
you can’t prove anything
………………………………………………………. steampunk arcanist from alkenstar

sorcerous-blood:

sabosexual:

(`ー`)~ takumi

I would totally make a character out of this

not like I just did in my head

you can’t prove anything

………………………………………………………. steampunk arcanist from alkenstar

outofcontextdnd:

"STOP TRYING TO SEDUCE THE LICH"

arcadiasilver:

romvnof:

Groot was just trying to help (◕‿◕✿)

  #we came out of seeing it saying how much it reminded us of our EotE game  
oldschoolfrp:

The party battles giant killer frogs with their crossbow, magic sword, and laser rifle and pistol.  (Denis Beauvais, credited as Dennis, from D&D Expert module DA2: Temple of the Frog by Dave Arneson and David Ritchie, TSR, 1986.)  The temple part of this adventure is adapted directly from the sample dungeon included in D&D Supplement II: Blackmoor in 1975, the first adventure ever published for an RPG, set in the first campaign world specifically created for a fantasy RPG.  Sci fi elements from other worlds were a part of D&D from the very beginning.

oldschoolfrp:

The party battles giant killer frogs with their crossbow, magic sword, and laser rifle and pistol.  (Denis Beauvais, credited as Dennis, from D&D Expert module DA2: Temple of the Frog by Dave Arneson and David Ritchie, TSR, 1986.)  The temple part of this adventure is adapted directly from the sample dungeon included in D&D Supplement II: Blackmoor in 1975, the first adventure ever published for an RPG, set in the first campaign world specifically created for a fantasy RPG.  Sci fi elements from other worlds were a part of D&D from the very beginning.

whatshouldgamerscallme:

When the bard in the party actually recites a poem or sings at the table:

image

Sick Burn

outofcontextdnd:

Barbarian: I will intimidate the evil tree with a face.

DM: You haven’t been able to hit the tree, what makes you think you can intimidate a semi-inanimate object?

Barbarian: Natural 20 

DM: …You shout something about its mother being tissue paper. It’s so psychologically beaten, it spontaneously combusts.